Fading romantic novelist Winifred Badger (left) announced yesterday

that she'll be seeking a new publisher for the next volume of her 

inspiring autobiography 'The Big Hair Years' after Badger's existing

 editor at Heart Throb Library failed to make an offer, complaining
that the first volume 'Fragrant Memories' failed to meet expectations
and had to be given to Ikea as window-dressing for their shelving

The kitchen sink feminist playwright lovely Lefty Morgan Murphy 

(notorious for ‘The Fart-Arse Monologues’ - see post for 11^th Dec 2011) 

has defended her controversial new kitchen sink production 

at the Royal Court Theatre.   ‘Scum Bag - Scum Bag!’ is a three-act

 monologue delivered by a down-trodden working class woman

 (played by Dame Alice Gertrude-Savoy) to her kitchen sink. 

“I’m passionate about London’s wretched working class women,” Lefty 

explained, over the phone from her holiday home in the Algarve. 

 “I strongly identify with their struggle” 

Betty Buckler, author of the blockbusting Doctor and Nurses Romance 

Library - seen here resting at her own front door after coming home from 

another lavish publishers’ party - recently announced that her wildly 

successful books will no longer  be published in book form. 

“Writing just  takes up too much of her  valuable time,” her agent said. 

“In future rough ideas will be dictated by Betty,  or friends and associates, 

developed by a team of dedicated scriptwriters and then launched

 as big-budget TV mini-adventures, leaving Betty more time for the

 important stuff, like marketing and celebrity appearances. 

NB: Despite a busy schedule Betty Buckler agreed to pose as Miss April 

in the Poetry Society’s Celebrity Calendar. (See post for 17^th Dec 2011) 

After the success of six-year-old author, Britney Woggle, whose Booker

 Prize nominated first novel 'Woggle World' became an international 

sensation for its notorious descriptions of finger-painting, Curtis Pyke

 launches a 'sexy, smouldering, first novel sizzler' by his son, the lanky 

steel-jawed  wunderkind Dwight Pyke.  But the publishers abruptly 

cancel publication after jealous neighbours  reveal that the boy is 

actually Curtis Pyke's  own wife wearing a stolen school uniform.    

Clovis, Audrey and Phyliss, the Corbett family, 

celebrate the publication of their fifteen-volume Corbett history,

tracing the family's migration from Paddington to Putney in search

of romance and adventure.  "We had our manuscript turned down 

by more than forty publishers before 'E-BOOKS-R-EASY' agreed

to publish our story," said Clovis.  "They were very encouraging,"

remembers Audrey.  "And they also charge reasonable rates," added

Phyliss. E-BOOKS-R-EASY estimates that, by the end of the year,

every man, woman and child in the UK will have self-published at least

one volume of heart-warming memoir or light verse. 

Hollywood heavyweight Harvey Shyster (seen here at home in Beverly 

Hills) this month celebrates forty lucrative years of writing 

Writing for Hollywood  manuals. Although he's never actually sold one 

of his own screenplays to a Hollywood studio, many of his students 

have carved out very successful careers of their own, writing 

Writing for Hollywood manuals.  "There's no business like show business business!" hoots Harvey.

After the Christmas pantomime 'Babes in the Wood' starring the

moustachioed celebrity novelist Muriel Gaylord and written

 by controversial kitchen sink feminist playwright Lefty Morgan 

Murphy (see post for the 11th December) closes early 

at the Bertolt Brecht Variety Theatre, Kilburn, North London,

the management announces an exciting season of Poetry on the 

Trampoline by performance poets Greta Grubb and Rex Bass Tard