Monday, 29 August 2011

Despite some last-minute pleading, Tiffany
Hartebeeste, the Oprah Winfrey of BBC Regional TV
 refuses to recommend the Author's last novel on her hugely
popular Afternoon Book Club after the battling blonde
is told of some "off-colour" passages in his writing.
"There's no need for language in books!" she grumbles.

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Far out on the Edinburgh Fringe the Author 
encounters a lively late-night performance by
 the Toilet Bowls, potty-mouthed Cambridge graduates,
Charlie Chad-Valley and Melissa Sunbeam, delivering 
quick-fire lavatory humour to an unsuspecting audience
in the street.  "I nearly pooped myself!" Guardian Arts Page

Monday, 22 August 2011

Meanwhile, at the Edinburgh Festival, the Author narrowly avoids
the work of Benny and Lenny, leaders of the "Flash Mob Buskers" 
as they tweet three hundred buskers to leap from nowhere, surround
startled onlookers and menace them with "Songs from the Shows"

Thursday, 18 August 2011

The Author's invitation to read from his own collected poems
at the Truculent Polecat gastro-pub during the Edinburgh Festival
is abruptly withdrawn when fantastically funny TV comic and star
of the smash hit "You Gotta Laff"  Travis Smelter (above) is persuaded
by the pub's landlord to read from his recently published book:
"Five Hundred Favourite Fart Jokes"

Sunday, 14 August 2011

The Author is invited to meet the five-year-old celebrity author,
singer, songwriter, tap dancer, UN goodwill ambassador, fund-raiser 
and Olympic-hopeful, Britney Woggle.  Her Booker Prize nominated
first novel "Woggle World" has been the biggest sensation since the
twelve-year-old giant of English fiction Martin Adenoid had his own
best-selling autobiography turned into a BBC mini-series. 
 Over malted milk and biscuits Britney told the Author she thought 
he was "wonderful for his age!"

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

During the recent riots and looting in London romantic novelist
Winifred Badger is caught trying to break into a local branch 
of WH Smith to plant twenty copies of her own recently published
autobiography "Fragrant Memories" on the shelves.  
She was arrested and charged with littering.

Friday, 5 August 2011

After rumours that the Author had been considering ghost-writing
the life story of popular ventriloquist Bertie Bloater he's approached 
by Tudor Warner and his Educated Budgerigars to help write
Warner's hilarious blockbusting memoirs "Whistle for Your Work:
 A Life of Bird Impersonations for Stage and Screen" 
Nothing was signed.