Sunday, 30 October 2011

Wendy Pyke seeks the Author's assistance in helping
to pay her medical expenses after she had a nervous breakdown
reading his early novels.  When the Author declines the invitation
to send her money she threatens to kill his dog.
When he tells her that he doesn't have a dog she threatens
to find something else to kill.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

A rare photograph of celebrated romantic novelist, poet, painter, potter, columnist, wit, historian, wine expert, TV celebrity, gardener, composer, librettist, agony aunt,  goodwill ambassador, peace envoy, 
vegetarian, animal campaigner and award-winning interior designer,
 Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste, sitting at home as she models one
of the silk gowns she created as a method of relaxing after another
 gruelling world book tour. "I'm constantly amazing myself" she told a circle of startled reporters. 

Saturday, 22 October 2011

After a lot of wrangling Russell Binge, the owner of Charlie's Corner
Collectables, offers the Author a novelty milk jug and a smokers 
companion for a complete set of good condition first editions. 
"And for that price I expect 'em signed" he grumbles, when the Author
walks away, explaining he needs time to think about it.  

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

A woman in the audience throws her knickers
at Dudley Cardigan, the distinguished love poet during
an especially fiery reading of his most erotic masterpiece
'The Fiddlers Elbow'  Dudley is not a young man and when
the incident topples his toupee he has to be helped from the stage

Saturday, 15 October 2011

The Author is invited to audition for a place 
with the Original Happy Boys Performance Poets
on their winter tour of English Seaside Towns - 
but finds himself unable to take advantage of the opportunity.
He suffers from an allergic reaction to nylon.

Sunday, 9 October 2011

After a late-night discussion on the future of modern literature 
in the Cardiff Guildhall Lecture Theatre the veteran poet and playwright
Archie Kensington says that he wants a breath of fresh air 
and insists on walking back to his hotel only to find himself 
trapped on the street by autograph hunters, convinced that 
"he's someone famous off the telly" having noticed he's wearing a shirt and jacket. When the atmosphere turns ugly he's forced to sign their arms in lipstick and share a Bacardi Breezer.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

A rare photograph of Percy Thompkins, aka Tempest Clinch,
 camera-shy creator of blockbusting action hero Johnny Cleft,
seen here enjoying the autumn sunshine on the beach at Brighton
last weekend.  Percy is dressed entirely by his mother.