Thursday, 26 April 2012

Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste "Most Romantic Novelist of the Year" 
poses for pictures to promote her latest best seller "Home Dressmaking 
for Beginners" In a recent interview she said, "In hard times we all have
 to try a little harder to look our loveliest. But even quite ordinary people
 can work wonders if they learn how to use a sewing machine"  
Her brother Fletcher Hartebeeste of the Sunday TimesLiterary 
Supplement quipped, "It was an absolute scream!  She made her outfit 
from a set of old cushion covers"

Sunday, 22 April 2012

The huge success of husband and wife team Bert and Rachel Stokes
with their recipe book 'Cooking with Lard' followed by the lavishly
illustrated 'Five Hundred Fancy Fried Favourites' throws the world
 of publishing into a feeding frenzy. Chippy Norton celebrity blogger
 and part-time doughnut correspondent for the Fast Food Channel
is easily persuaded to write his own book of easy-bake cake recipes. 
"I sat here and done all the icing and everything" he said, as he posed
proudly for pictures in a corner of his mother's kitchen. 

Thursday, 19 April 2012

and she's a pleasure to handle . . .

After failing to find success with Amaryliss Blowser's first novel,
the teenage historical vampire romance sci-fi epic, her publisher
and personal publicist Arty Finkel announces his intentions to enter
his struggling client into the 2012 Isle of Wight Poetry Beauty Pageant.
"It's a great showcase for new talent," Arty told the Author.
"Last year's winner, pictured second from right, now writes a regular 
hair and beauty column for the Sodbury District Weekly Shopper"

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

After hearing the Voice of Jesus coming from his wardrobe, the young
 charismatic Christian Colin Beanie was inspired to set aside the
collection of erotic love poems  he intended to dedicate to his 
best friend's mother, to write his own gospel and establish his 
own evangelical church.  The Gospel of Colin has now been 
translated into twenty languages and generated a library
of motivational tapes and DVDs.  "I was going into banking when 
I grew up," he said in a recent interview, "but when you crunch the 
numbers, this has got to make more sense"

Monday, 2 April 2012

After hearing that the creator of the Harry Potter books
J K Rowling, is to write a novel for grown-ups, the famous
children's author and TV personality Cheri Bloomer announces
her intentions to write an adult version of her popular 'Candy Cane'
series.  "I want to be taken seriously as a writer," she told crowds
during the opening of the latest Candy Cane Sugar Experience
at the Brent Cross Shopping Centre where she found time to model
items from the summer season Candy Cane Leisure Wear Range.