Thursday, 31 March 2011

A picnic group taking photographs of the Author, 
having mistaken him for "someone famous off the telly"
When challenged they fail to remember the name
of this favourite celebrity and accuse the Author
of "being snooty" as they throw stones at him

Saturday, 26 March 2011

The Author fails to generate excitement
at his Kilburn Literary Festival appearance:
the audience already sedated by Fanny Drone
having delivered an hour of amusing anecdotes
on her career writing romantic Light Verse
for the greetings card industry

Sunday, 20 March 2011

The Author meets performance poet Gary Chutney.  
Chutney was a favourite of the disgraced
ex-Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone,
who had wanted Chutney to open the 2012 Olympics
with an epic protest poem about the sexual oppression
of men in frocks by the Metropolitan Police.
But Chutney couldn't think of anything.

Monday, 14 March 2011


Fanny Drone and Joyce Potter-Pirbright
joint winners of the coveted Lyle H Oswald Prize
for speed writing poetry (light verse category)
at the Isle of Wight Literary Festival.
The prize was established by Polenta Hartebeeste
in memory of the late L H Oswald and presented
by her brother Fletcher Hartbeeste

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Polenta "the Bouncy Bunny" Hartebeeste
with two unknown male companions
relaxing at the Cadbury World of Chocolate
Literary Festival

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste
"Most Romantic Novelist of the Century"

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Fletcher Hartebeeste of the Sunday Times Literary Supplement insists
 that he's never heard of the Author - and if he did ever hear of the
Author he would certainly never bother to read him.