Sunday, 30 June 2013

the critics were divided . . .

The first mixed-gender bigamist Charlie Potts (front row left)
failed in his attempt to persuade the Author to ghost-write his life story
when Charlie, seen here in happier times with wives Sandra, Gertie, 
Pauline and Frank, was taken into custody shortly before the Author 
could talk to him.  Immediately after the arrest Frank ran away with
Gertie and Pauline tried to sell her kiss-and-tell confession about an 
affair with Sandra to the Daily Mail.  Charlie later announced he would
tackle his own life story in the prison creative writing class. 

Sunday, 23 June 2013

words finally failed him

Notorious literary bad boy Julian Sphincter, celebrated for his
dystopian novels attacking everything, fails to find a publisher
for his latest book and contents himself with standing
in the street near the Grouchers Club in London's Soho
shouting abuse and spitting at people. When the police arrest
 him for disturbing the peace, The Times Literary Supplement
quickly rush to his defence, describing his action as
"an extraordinary triumph of virtual fiction writing"
and "a modern masterpiece of minimalist conceptualism"

Sunday, 16 June 2013

can also be used as an anaesthetic . . .

Janice Bedwitter (right) author of the best-selling 'Teen Nurse Nancy' 
series of romantic novelettes receives the Red Rose Award from 
Literature Lite for her contribution to the arts.  Her sixty-third Teen 
Nurse Nancy novelette 'Emergency Nurse Nancy'  is published next
 month, described by her editor Literature Lite's Wendy Scott-Bunion
 (left) as 'a perfectly lovely little book - they're the sort of stories you 
can just read and you don't have to think about"

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

if that doesn't work she takes off the housecoat . . .

In a desperate attempt to halt dwindling sales of the ill-fated
'Collected Sermons of Eminent Victorian Bishops' in ten volumes
her editors suggest that noted historian Astoria Wainscot add a little
glamour to her book jacket photographs.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

and she lodged a complaint with the Jockey Club

Famous travel writer Pansy Dunlop is forced to retire injured
abandoning her attempt to retrace the footsteps of her great hero
Robert Louis Stevenson's 'Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes'
for the Sunday Times when - shortly after this picture is taken -
the brute throws her and gives her a good kicking at the start 
of her journey on Margate Sands.