but they cancelled the honeymoon

Moustachioed novelist and veteran campaigner against female 

stereotypes Muriel Gaylord (right) denies that her three-day marriage

to lady-boy poet Gary Chutney (left) was merely a publicity stunt.

"We wanted to draw attention to the ugly face of discrimination at work

in this country," she said in an interview for the Guardian newspaper,

using the occasion to announce their intentions of turning Gary's epic

love poem 'Fifty Shades of Gay - Bum Slapping, Bondage & Binge 

Eating' into a BBC TV game show later this year. 

it's always women and children first!

The Author's invitation to read extracts from the reprint of his novel

'The Sandman' on the 'Arty-Farty-Party' - a local radio afternoon arts

magazine is abruptly withdrawn when TV celebrity weather girl

Wendy Sponge calls the studio offering to sing a selection of her own

folk songs based on the hilarious antics of her young children 

 at nursery school.

Nickelodeon want the film rights

After the success of six-year-old author, Britney Woggle, whose

Booker Prize nominated first novel 'Woggle World' became an

international sensation for its notorious description of finger-painting

the celebrity micro-blogger Jason Dralon celebrates a five figure

advance for his own short story collection 'The Dralon Suite' 

a roller-coaster ride of toddler tantrums and sugar abuse.

plus no more carpet burns

Doris Potter - prolific co-authoress of hard-core 'Erotica for Seniors'

from the Silk Panties Large Print Library takes delivery of the first

 samples from her signature underwear collection 'Flirty in Flannelette'

 to try on her husband Dennis (pictured right)  "It's pretty but practical,"

 she told the Author.  "It lets you fiddle with your privates

 AND still helps keep your kidneys warm!"

he spent his advance on that jacket

Bernie Murdoch's lifelong ambition to write about his mad-cap

 adventures as he drove across five continents picking up colourful

hitchhikers in his Austin Mini was finally abandoned when he ran out

of petrol on the A337 just beyond the village of Nutwood and he had

 to walk the four miles home.  "It's the cost of living!" he grumbled.

she suffered from stage fright . . .

Romantic novelist Winifred Badger is taken to hospital after leaping

from the stage in a failed attempt at crowd surfing during last week's

annual Heart Throb Library Awards

and she came apart at the seams

Famous children's author, housewife and mother, Cheri Bloomer, 

attempts a book signing of her latest Derek the Dinosaur adventure 

at Waterstones wearing a home-made dinosaur costume, but the sight 

of her stumbling from the Ladies Toilet so terrifies the assembled 

toddlers that they panic, stampeding through the bookstore 

and triggering the sprinkler system.