The Author meets performance poet Gary Chutney.  

Chutney was a favourite of the disgraced

ex-Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone,

who had wanted Chutney to open the 2012 Olympics

with an epic protest poem about the sexual oppression

of men in frocks by the Metropolitan Police.

But Chutney couldn't think of anything.

The Author - the Wilderness Years

Fanny Drone and Joyce Potter-Pirbright

joint winners of the coveted Lyle H Oswald Prize

for speed writing poetry (light verse category)

at the Isle of Wight Literary Festival.

The prize was established by Polenta Hartebeeste

in memory of the late L H Oswald and presented

by her brother Fletcher Hartbeeste

Polenta "the Bouncy Bunny" Hartebeeste

with two unknown male companions

relaxing at the Cadbury World of Chocolate

Literary Festival

Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste
"Most Romantic Novelist of the Century"

Fletcher Hartebeeste of the Sunday Times Literary Supplement insists

 that he's never heard of the Author - and if he did ever hear of the
Author he would certainly never bother to read him.

The Author in Uniform