the critics were divided . . .

The first mixed-gender bigamist Charlie Potts (front row left)

failed in his attempt to persuade the Author to ghost-write his life story

when Charlie, seen here in happier times with wives Sandra, Gertie, 

Pauline and Frank, was taken into custody shortly before the Author 

could talk to him.  Immediately after the arrest Frank ran away with

Gertie and Pauline tried to sell her kiss-and-tell confession about an 

affair with Sandra to the Daily Mail.  Charlie later announced he would

tackle his own life story in the prison creative writing class. 

words finally failed him

Notorious literary bad boy Julian Sphincter, celebrated for his
dystopian novels attacking everything, fails to find a publisher
for his latest book and contents himself with standing
in the street near the Grouchers Club in London's Soho
shouting abuse and spitting at people. When the police arrest
 him for disturbing the peace, The Times Literary Supplement
quickly rush to his defence, describing his action as
"an extraordinary triumph of virtual fiction writing"
and "a modern masterpiece of minimalist conceptualism"

can also be used as an anaesthetic . . .

Janice Bedwitter (right) author of the best-selling 'Teen Nurse Nancy' 

series of romantic novelettes receives the Red Rose Award from 

Literature Lite for her contribution to the arts.  Her sixty-third Teen 

Nurse Nancy novelette 'Emergency Nurse Nancy'  is published next

 month, described by her editor Literature Lite's Wendy Scott-Bunion

 (left) as 'a perfectly lovely little book - they're the sort of stories you 

can just read and you don't have to think about"

if that doesn't work she takes off the housecoat . . .

In a desperate attempt to halt dwindling sales of the ill-fated

'Collected Sermons of Eminent Victorian Bishops' in ten volumes

her editors suggest that noted historian Astoria Wainscot add a little

glamour to her book jacket photographs.

and she lodged a complaint with the Jockey Club

Famous travel writer Pansy Dunlop is forced to retire injured

abandoning her attempt to retrace the footsteps of her great hero

Robert Louis Stevenson's 'Travels with a Donkey in the Cevennes'

for the Sunday Times when - shortly after this picture is taken -

the brute throws her and gives her a good kicking at the start 

of her journey on Margate Sands.

and the Hallmark Medal for Poetry goes to . . .

The girls from the Paddington Poetry Speed Writing Team (seen here

 with their coach Fanny Forester) raise a glass of sweet sherry 

in celebration of winning the regional heats to qualify for the finals

of the Strict Tempo Light Verse Olympic Sprint at this year's exciting

Isle of Wight Literary Festival.  "We're confident of taking the medal

- these girls can rhyme in double-quick time," declared Fanny,
a legend in the greetings card industry.

and he does his own hair and make-up

Charlie Chisel the celebrated thriller writer, athlete, adventurer,

mercenary, explorer, mountaineer, bush pilot, sharp shooter, deep sea

diver, big game hunter, columnist, wit, historian, wine expert, wrestler

TV celebrity, gourmet, cigar enthusiast and award-winning fashion

designer  (seen here at another literary luncheon) announces that he

plans in future to get "some little scribbler" to bang out his blockbusters

 since he's just too busy 'being Charlie'