He plans to retire before his next birthday . . .

The Author is introduced to Eric Duncan-Macaroon the latest

twelve-year-old enfant terrible of modern English fiction

 and author of the best-selling autobiography 'The Early Years -

Confessions of a Troubled Twelve-Year-Old' soon to be made into

an award-winning BBC mini-series about a troubled twelve-year-old

and his struggle to write his own life story.

He don't sweat the small stuff . . .

Milton Carnaby, the Sixties fashion guru who introduced

the idea of wearing your shirt back-to-front with the collar 

turned up, appeared on the BBC Book Programme to promote

his autobiography 'Rag Trade to Riches' and was accused of using

a ghost-writer to compile his memoirs.  Carnaby merely shrugged 

and said "What am I, bleedin' Einstein?  I never learned to read

nor write - I was too busy making money!"

George was in the laundry basket . . .

Inspired by popular psychic biographer Agatha Blunt who wrote 

her intimate story of Michael Jackson while sitting at home in a trance

Lucy Pickles (pictured left with her best friend Maude) claims that
while she was sick in bed with the measles, John Lennon haunted her 

wardrobe "He asked me to write his true life story.  It was awesome.  

He said we had to love one another and stuff!" she said. "He said 

I should give peace a chance and stuff.  It's all in my book!" 

 She is currently seeking a publisher.