Tuesday 23 August 2016

Home to Roost.

After launching the crowdfunding for his new book “Welcome to Earth - an imaginary encyclopaedia’ the Author is accused of plagiarism by Cyril Sprout whose own book ‘Welcome to Earth - the Complete Guide to Garden Spadework ’ was first published in 1957. After a heated argument Cyril agrees to settle out of court if the Author buys him a new caravan. 

Monday 22 August 2016

Milk and Biscuits with the Rich and Famous

As part of the campaign to crowdfund his new book, ‘Welcome to Earth’ the Author is invited to meet five-year-old celebrity author, singer, songwriter, tap dancer, UN goodwill ambassador, fund-raiser and award-winning interior designer, Britney Woggle. Her Booker Prize nominated first novel "Woggle World" has been the biggest sensation since the twelve-year-old giant of English fiction Martin Adenoid had his own best-selling autobiography turned into a BBC mini-series.  Over malted milk and biscuits Britney told the Author she thought  he was "wonderful for his age!”  https://unbound.com/books/welcome-to-earth

Monday 25 July 2016

He barely made an impression

The Author’s first attempt to raise readers’ support for his new book ‘Welcome to Earth - an Imaginary Encyclopaedia’ gets a mixed reception at the Scrotum & Foresters Working Mens Club. “Not your fault, pal. They usually get a stripper on a Tuesdays” the management explains. https://unbound.com/books/welcome-to-earth

Wednesday 13 April 2016

She should have tried the Eggs Benedict

As part of her Sunday Times series on ‘Living with the Homeless’ in 1979 Tanya Tilbury-Whiffle spent the weekend in a traveller’s caravan.  ‘It was absolutely shocking!’ revealed the celebrated romantic novelist, children's writer, biographer, historian, poet, painter, potter, sculptor, columnist, wit, wine expert, TV celebrity, gardener, composer, librettist, agony aunt, goodwill ambassador, peace envoy, vegetarian, animal campaigner and award-winning interior designer, ‘the coffee was cold and there wasn’t even a decent croissant. I just don’t know how these poor people manage!’

Wednesday 6 April 2016

Please wait to be seated

Fanny and Dudley Hovis pose for pictures to promote Dudley’s book ‘Errol Flynn’s Ghost Invaded my Wife’  Fanny says that the ghost - pictured here sitting on the footstool - arrived shortly after she fell and cracked her head in the kitchen and now follows her everywhere. They eat, sleep and bathe together. ‘Since he arrived in the house he’s turned our lives upside down,’ said Dudley, who now has to sleep in the spare bedroom.  They are currently seeking a publisher.

Tuesday 1 April 2014

He simply lost his appetite

After the phenomenal success of his BBC TV shows ‘Finger Food 
for the Over Forties’ and ‘Simple Snacks for Seniors’  ten-year-old 
wunderkind Macaulay Minge wrote a series of best-selling cookery
 books, a blockbuster novel, two volumes of poetry and a food column
 for the Guardian, before announcing his early retirement. 
“Writing is a young man’s game. If you haven’t made it by the time
you’re fifteen you should probably find a different career,”
 he told the Author, before asking him what he did for a living.  

Thursday 27 March 2014

A spin down Memory Lane

A rare photograph of ‘The Freewheelers’ aka Gladys Snorter, Bunty Pilchard, Elsie Potter and Alice Peak Freen, relaxing in the saddle after winning the Lucy Taffeta Cup - that most coveted Poetry Marathon Prize - for writing 500 stanzas of romantic light verse in under two hours at the Isle of Wight Festival in 1953.