Wendy Pyke seeks the Author's assistance in helping

to pay her medical expenses after she had a nervous breakdown

reading his early novels.  When the Author declines the invitation

to send her money she threatens to kill his dog.

When he tells her that he doesn't have a dog she threatens

to find something else to kill.

A rare photograph of celebrated romantic novelist, poet, painter, potter, columnist, wit, historian, wine expert, TV celebrity, gardener, composer, librettist, agony aunt,  goodwill ambassador, peace envoy, 

vegetarian, animal campaigner and award-winning interior designer,

 Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste, sitting at home as she models one

of the silk gowns she created as a method of relaxing after another

 gruelling world book tour. "I'm constantly amazing myself" she told a circle of startled reporters. 

After a lot of wrangling Russell Binge, the owner of Charlie's Corner

Collectables, offers the Author a novelty milk jug and a smokers 

companion for a complete set of good condition first editions. 

"And for that price I expect 'em signed" he grumbles, when the Author

walks away, explaining he needs time to think about it.  

A woman in the audience throws her knickers

at Dudley Cardigan, the distinguished love poet during

an especially fiery reading of his most erotic masterpiece

'The Fiddlers Elbow'  Dudley is not a young man and when

the incident topples his toupee he has to be helped from the stage

The Author is invited to audition for a place 

with the Original Happy Boys Performance Poets

on their winter tour of English Seaside Towns - 

but finds himself unable to take advantage of the opportunity.

He suffers from an allergic reaction to nylon.

After a late-night discussion on the future of modern literature 

in the Cardiff Guildhall Lecture Theatre the veteran poet and playwright

Archie Kensington says that he wants a breath of fresh air 

and insists on walking back to his hotel only to find himself 

trapped on the street by autograph hunters, convinced that 

"he's someone famous off the telly" having noticed he's wearing a shirt and jacket. When the atmosphere turns ugly he's forced to sign their arms in lipstick and share a Bacardi Breezer.

A rare photograph of Percy Thompkins, aka Tempest Clinch,

 camera-shy creator of blockbusting action hero Johnny Cleft,

seen here enjoying the autumn sunshine on the beach at Brighton

last weekend.  Percy is dressed entirely by his mother.