In a belated attempt to make the Author reconsider ghost-writing

the life story of Tudor Warner and his Educated Budgerigars (5th Aug)

Warner's lovely partner and long-time stage assistant Patricia insists 

on demonstrating some of their favourite party tricks.

(No birds were harmed in this performance)

The husband of influential editor Mavis Galore (see post for 8th April)

seen here siting on a bench in Soho Square with instructions to guard 

the great woman's handbag while she ducks into one of London's

most notorious drinking dens, the Grouchers Club, for a stiff one.

Shortly before Random House prepare to publish

'Confessions of a Paris Concubine',  the blogging sensation

of the decade, the author is revealed to be Wilfred Pilcher,

writing from the back bedroom of his mother's house in Bournemouth.

When Random House threaten to sue for the return of their 

'substantial' advance, Pilcher claims insanity. 

Inspired by the recent campaign to raise enough money to save

Roald Dahl's garden shed for "future generations" the Author attempts

to sell his old armchair as a "cultural treasure for the nation"

 but admits he's disappointed by the lack of response.  

His agent suggests he tries eBay.

After spending the day as a homeless person and writing about it

for the Sunday Times, Polenta 'Bunny' Hartebeeste is commissioned 

to write an awarding-winning account on the hardships of circus life.

"Astonishing!" burbles bubbly Mark Lawson, BBC arts correspondent, 

barely able to contain his excitement. "It's just like George Orwell's 

'Down and Out in London and Paris . . .  But with Clowns!"

Meanwhile, Polenta is required to take a month's complete rest

in her villa in Tuscany to recover from the ordeal of having to work

with common people.  "It was the longest two days of my life" she said.

Mad Georgie Butcher threatens to "hunt them down like animals"

after learning that his newly-published autobiography 

'Crime Boss Confessions' had not been shortlisted for this year's

Mann Booker Prize. "They just won a world of pain" he announced

An afternoon at the hairdresser gives the Lady-Boy Poet

Gary Chutney an opportunity to explore World of Kindle