The Author is urged to spend an intimate weekend with notorious

 Tommy Pilchard, the bad boy editor of Modern Literary Digest

to discuss "what Tommy can do for him" But the Author is 

forced to decline the invitation, claiming he's allergic to dog hair.

After his arrest behind the Groucher Club in fashionable Soho

the lady-boy poet Gary Chutney (see post for 20th March) 

claims that his lifestyle is a genuine form of "performance art" 

and provides a copy of his Arts Council Grant when the police

threaten to prosecute.

The Author is invited to ghost-write 

"My Life Has Just Been A Gottle Of Geer" the first volume of memoirs

from veteran  ventriloquist Bernie Bloater (picture far right

sitting with his famous life-sized dummy Archie)

Nothing was signed.

The poet Melody Fly-Wheeler (right) celebrates the promise 

of an exciting three-book-deal with publisher Arty Finkel (left)

despite failing to win an award in the speed writing poetry competition

at the Isle of Wight Literary Festival.  "It was such a surprise!

But Arty says he has big plans for me!" she laughed.

Romance author, Crystal Butts, at the end of her term

 as Writer in Residence at the Cadbury World of Chocolate

appreciates the invitation to a rapid weight loss programme

but regrets that she didn't take up the dental plan

Tracey Vermin, celebrity splodger, tweeter and literary 

wunderkind replies to critics of her latest autobiography

"I Take My Breath Away"